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Mother’s Day Cards We SHOULD have Given Her
Mother’s Day Cards We SHOULD have Given Her

Happy Mother’s’ Day Mom
I’m happy I was born
And I’m happy you’re not Kris Jenner
And got me into porn

 

I hope your Mother’s Day is swell
I hope that it is fine
I hope you figure out one day
Which father is really mine

 

Mom you’ve taught us kids so much
You really love to tutor us
Thanks for that and for the nine months
We spent up in your uterus

 

You work so hard for us each day
We love that you’re our mom
We just wish that you worked somewhere
Besides ChubbyMilf.com

 

You’re beautiful, you stay in shape
And for all that mom, I thank you
And because you, mom, are such a Milf
My friends all want to bang you

 

Mom you’re always on the move
You always keep a-goin’
That’s because you do more coke
Than freakin’ Lindsay Lohan

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A banner for "The Interview"is posted outside Arclight Cinemas, Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2014, in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles. A U.S. official says North Korea perpetrated the unprecedented act of cyberwarfare against Sony Pictures that exposed tens of thousands of sensitive documents and escalated to threats of terrorist attacks that ultimately drove the studio to cancel all release plans for "The Interview."

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Erik Childress on Sony Pulling ‘The Interview’

The White House is in the background after the national menorah was lit during a ceremony marking the start of the celebration of Hanukkah, on the Ellipse near the White House in Washington, Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2014.

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IMAGE DISTRIBUTED FOR RITZ - Tim Gay accepts Guinness World Record for "Most Lights on a Residential Property" from Guinness Adjudicator Michael Empric on Friday Nov. 28, 2014 in Lagrangeville, NY. RITZ Crackers contributed roughly 200,000 lights to support the Gay family’s attempt to break the current Guinness World Record of 502,165 lights. In total, the Gay Family and RITZ used roughly 600,000 lights for the family’s annual holiday display.

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Christmas Light Display World Record Holder

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‘Booze Traveler’ host Jack Maxwell

‘Booze Traveler’ host Jack Maxwell