Morning Moose

Mother’s Day Cards We SHOULD have Given Her
Mother’s Day Cards We SHOULD have Given Her

Happy Mother’s’ Day Mom
I’m happy I was born
And I’m happy you’re not Kris Jenner
And got me into porn

 

I hope your Mother’s Day is swell
I hope that it is fine
I hope you figure out one day
Which father is really mine

 

Mom you’ve taught us kids so much
You really love to tutor us
Thanks for that and for the nine months
We spent up in your uterus

 

You work so hard for us each day
We love that you’re our mom
We just wish that you worked somewhere
Besides ChubbyMilf.com

 

You’re beautiful, you stay in shape
And for all that mom, I thank you
And because you, mom, are such a Milf
My friends all want to bang you

 

Mom you’re always on the move
You always keep a-goin’
That’s because you do more coke
Than freakin’ Lindsay Lohan

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New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady speaks at a news conference in Foxborough, Mass., Thursday, Jan. 22, 2015 as he addresses the issue of the NFL investigation of deflated footballs.

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Celebrities attending the 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil Final match between Germany and Argentina at Maracana Stadium (Estadio Maracana)

Featuring: Gisele Buendchen,Tom Brady
Where: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
When: 13 Jul 2014
Credit: SIPA/WENN.com

**Only available for publication in Germany**

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