REPOSTING THIS FROM ABOUT 3 YEARS AGO. RULES STILL APPLY!-Moose
1-Coughing: keep it as quiet as you can. Nobody’s gonna fault you for being sick but you might have been better off just staying home and getting better. Besides you don’t wanna get everyone in the theater sick do you?
2-Flegm/Snot issues: close your mouth if you have to snort. If you feel you’re snorting is becoming distracting for other people, or someone’s giving you the ‘over the shoulder’ head turn, use your watch to determine how much time happens inbetween your snorts. If it’s more frequent than every 5 minutes you should leave. No, really.
3-Need to talk: If you missed something feel free to lean over to your friend/companion and WHISPER ‘what’d they say’. If you’re doing it every other line, you have a hearing problem and it’s annoying other people in the theater.
4-Participating in the movie: Don’t talk to the screen. They can’t hear you but the other folks in the theater can. You’re being annoying and a little pretentious because if you’re shouting stuff like ‘Don’t open that door!’ all you’re telling me is that you’re a know-it-all with a possible self-esteem issue. “Hey, I need attention and don’t get enough of it in my life” is all I’m hearing when you do stuff like this.
5-Loud/fussy child: As a sidenote, let me address parents that bring your underage kids to age restricted movies (PG-13, R). Just because they sell you a ticket for your 5 year old to The Dark Knight doesn’t mean your kid should be in there. The movies that have these ratings are typically wrought with content and ideas that a younger mind can’t grasp. Kids can’t understand sarcasm so they’re probably missing a good part of the movie and when kids don’t understand something they get 1 of 2 ways: bored or pissy. Usually both, which leads me to the main point of number 5 here. If your kid is being fussy and/or has ants in his pants, take him out of the theater. When you get outside you tell him that he needs to be quiet because there are other people who are trying to watch the movie and they can’t do that when you’re bouncing on the chair/kicking/yelling/etc. Sometimes parents have to do things they don’t wanna do like leave 40 minutes into a movie they really wanted to see. It’s one of the many sacrifices that all those doctors and counselors talk about with being a parent. You’re teaching a valuable lesson to your child that there ARE other people in the world and that you have to live and interact with these people in a civil manner.
I guess what it all boils down to is just a simple respect and consideration. Most people these days are so caught up in there own little bubble of ‘me’ that they forget that there’s another person who has a life and is trying to enjoy a movie. EVERYONE has a shitty job, got cut off in traffic, dog pissed on their carpet, wife is a bitch, whatever. We all just want to get away from it all and forget the daily crap to escape into a universe where an english dude in a tuxedo is jumping around rooftops in italy while chasing a double agent. It becomes VERY hard to stay in that universe when someone is seemingly trying to take you out of it constantly. So please, when you go to the movies just be quiet and keep in mind those sitting around you. And oh, yeah. TURN YOUR F**ING CELL PHONE OFF!