Two brothers, one a few years older than the other, live together and share a room. The older brother, as it always goes, gets the top bunk of their bunk bed, and the younger brother gets bottom. This made sexual encounters for the older brother rather difficult.

One night, the older brother is sneaking in a lady after a night out, and he says to her, “We can’t be too loud, but more importantly, we can’t be too obvious. So if you want it harder, say tomato. If you want it softer, say lettuce.”

As they do the deed, the younger brother wakes up to the bunks creaking, and he could faintly hear, “Lettuce! Tomato! Lettuce! Tomato!”

The younger brother, slightly annoyed, bangs on the bottom bunk and says, “You guys, stop making sandwiches. You’re getting mayonnaise all over my bunk!”