Why was the snowman smiling?  He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Why does the snowman want a divorce? Because his wife is a total flake.

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?  When he gets a sweater but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Why did the Grinch rob the liquor store? He was desperate for some holiday spirit.