I’m not Santa, but do you want to sit on my lap and tell me what you want this Christmas?

Do you like the song “Jingle Bells”? Because we could go all the way.

How about I shimmy down your chimney tonight?

Let’s make this a not-so-silent night.

Wanna see the toys the elves make for adults?

Let’s both be naughty and save Santa the trip tonight.

Let’s pretend to be presents and get laid under the tree.