George raises his beer mug in the air and says, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life having sex with my wife!”

The bar is filled with whistles and claps, and the bartender even gives him a ribbon that says, “Best Toast of the Month.”

When George gets home, he shows his wife Linda the ribbon.  “And what exactly was your award-winning toast?” she asks.

George lies and says, “Here’s to spending the rest of my life going to church with my wife!”

The next day when George is at work, Linda is walking down the street when she runs into one of George’s drinking buddies. “Your husband sure gave an awesome toast last night!” he says.

“I know!” she replies, “I was so surprised since almost every time he goes down there, he falls asleep. A few weeks ago I had to pull him by the ear to get him to come!”