Pinocchio was fed up with the recent complaints from his wife. “Every time we make love, I get splinters.” So, Pinocchio went back to his maker, Gipetto the Carpenter, for advice.

“Sandpaper,” said the carpenter, “That’s what you need.”

So, Pinocchio took the sandpaper home. A few weeks later, the carpenter bumped into Pinocchio again. “How are you getting along with the girls now?”

“Who needs girls?” replied Pinocchio.